Sam Davidson's Blog - social mediaSam Davidson's Bloghttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009-11-24T16:15:09ZSquarespaceOur lives are divergent nowhttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/11/19/our-lives-are-divergent-now.htmlSam Davidson2009-11-19T14:00:43Z2009-11-19T14:00:43ZIn catching up with a friend via email, both of us trying to figure out when we could catch up in person, I realized the reality of our situation.

He's an entrepreneur with a flexible and inconsistent schedule. I'm a salaried employee with daily requirements. He's single. I'm married. He has a dog and watches lots of football. I'm about to have a daughter. He just upgraded his patio furniture. I must figure out how to install a car seat.

Our lives are divergent now.

We're still friends and we will definitely still find a time to meet in person, have a drink, some laughs, and a good time. But, realizing that your personal and social situations have changed will make you better friends. Honesty - the cornerstone of any good relationship - means that you have to be honest with yourself, too.

Social media doesn't make this any easier. Instead of journeying with someone for an extended period of time, we can conveniently peek in on their life at any given moment. If you haven't spoken to someone in four years, you can continue not speaking them. But at least you now know they have two kids and like watching CSI.

Life and the situations that comprise it change. So do best friends. And passions. And jobs and relationships. Pretending that things are always the same won't help us rekindle anything. Acknowledging that we're getting older and growing up allows us to enhance existing relationships with the reality of who we are and who we're becoming - even if it's someone different than we used to be.

]]>Making change happenhttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/11/18/making-change-happen.htmlSam Davidson2009-11-18T14:01:00Z2009-11-18T14:01:00ZFor the past few weeks, I've been knee-deep in change. Editing and designing a book about how you can get over the inconveneince of change will leave your head spinning - and oddly enough - kind of wanting more.

Matt Cheuvront has pieced together a nice 75-page book all about how you can overcome your fear of change. Very often, we resist change because it's more convenient to keep things the way they are.

Matt realized this and last summer, he asked bloggers to weigh in on it. They did.

This book has great pieces of writing - and a few special offers. And, it's free.

It's worth your time to download it, give it a read, and then share it with your friends.

 

]]>Friday Quick Hits - 10.23.09http://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/23/friday-quick-hits-102309.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-23T17:00:05Z2009-10-23T17:00:05ZBlog Recap

From the Web

Personal Stuff

  • I'm now taking a class on childbirth. Several anatomical words are bandied about mercilessly (I'll let you guess which ones). And, yes, I've seen multiple videos of real births. I should be ready for everything come January. Maybe.
  • I'll officially begin transitioning out of my day-to-day role at Cool People Care and into my new one as Program Manager of Inconvenient Youth, an initiative of The Climate Project. I've already been doing some initial work, and well...I'm excited.
]]>Reaching the next generationhttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/20/reaching-the-next-generation.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-20T11:21:23Z2009-10-20T11:21:23ZLast week, I spent a quick 24 hours in West Virginia, speaking to over 100 domestic violence advocates about how each could reach the next generation with their respective message in order to end a growing problem in their state.

We talked about Generation Y and which messaging strategies appeal to them. We talked about social media, how it's changing the worlds of communication and marketing, and why a social media strategy helps nonprofits succeed in reaching people with these new tools.

And, of course, we watched a few videos.

Here is my morning slide presentation, where I discuss the changing media landscape and how to define your audiences in order to reach each one with a relevant conversation.

Our Changing Media World - What It Means for Nonprofit Audiences
View more presentations from Sam Davidson.

Here is my presentation from the afternoon, where I discussed a bit more about who Gen Y is and what kind of messages best appeal to them. I also detailed the core components of a good social media strategy.

Nonprofits and Gen Y - You Need a Strategy to Succeed
View more presentations from Sam Davidson.

I showed two videos. The first was a look at college students today, in their own words.

The second was a quick trip around the social media world and why these tools are changing the game.

And, if you click below, you'll access the free digital version of my newest book, about how nonprofits can use social media.

Stories That Need Telling: A Nonprofit's Guide to Social Media

]]>Friday Quick Hits - 10.16.09http://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/16/friday-quick-hits-101609.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-16T17:00:52Z2009-10-16T17:00:52ZBlog Recap

From the Web

And all of a sudden Mindy and Phil gave me so much more than great headshots. They gave me a glimpse of what Mark sees when he thinks about the girl he loves.

Personal Stuff

  • Elisa Doucette featured yours truly as a blog crush. I am honored.
  • I'm having a garage sale on November 7. You'll want to check it out.
]]>The price of intimacy is reckless abandonhttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/14/the-price-of-intimacy-is-reckless-abandon.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-14T11:00:53Z2009-10-14T11:00:53ZIn response to yesterday's post, which created lots of conversation on Twitter, a commenter agreed that collaboration is better than competition, but many organizations and individuals can be reluctant to join forces since it can expose our flaws.

That's true. Let someone into your world and you'll risk them knowing you more deeply. Build walls and keep people out and you won't have to worry about anyone seeing all of your shortcomings.

But, intimacy and community are never created at an arm's length.

It's really your call then - if you want to be intimately known, you'll have to pay for it. It's not free. The price for being fully known in a deep and intimate way is reckless abandon. You've got to throw caution to the wind, become vulnerable, and give up any notion you have of being guarded or protected.

I've lived with my wife for nearly six years now. She's seen me at my most desperate and at my happiest. I've seen her at hers. If I'm lucky, she'll see me at even weaker moments one day. She'll see me be a bad parent, a forgetful husband, and maybe even a total jackass.

But, that's a price I'll pay in order to be fully loved and fully known by someone.

All of us want intimacy. But, we've been burned before. One time, we trusted too easily, so this time, we're not heading down that road just yet. So, we trade sex for love. We substitute scads of digital connections for a handful of personal relationships. We work on our personal brand and network instead of our group of five people we can call on (and who can call on us).

In a few months, I'll hold my daughter for the first time. I will say goodbye to any pretense I have of being my daughter's hero because I'll be perfect or ideal. Instead, I will hope to simply be her dad by being recklessly abandoned to that very idea - that by being completely me, she'll love me in a way that a daughter loves her father and as a result we'll have a close bond that I'll treasure forever.

And one day, I hope she'll ask me about love. I hope that I can tell her that at times, it will be terrible. She will get her heart broken and she, I, her mother, and those who love her will grieve with her. But, one day, she will love someone and he or she will love her back and the two of them will be totally and recklessly abandoned to one another.

In other words, I'll tell her that loving people is totally worth it.

Our hearts may break, but they cannot be destroyed. Go - love and live with reckless abandon. You won't believe how awesome intimacy is.

]]>Friday Quick Hits - 10.9.09http://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/9/friday-quick-hits-10909.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-09T17:00:34Z2009-10-09T17:00:34ZBlog Recap

From the Web

Personal Stuff

  • In you're in Nashville on October 22nd, I'll be leading a small group discussion at a young nonprofit professional's event. My topic? Career change and how to adapt and adjust. This is apropos because:
  • I have a new job. Like, a new full-time job. More about that next week.
]]>Stand up - and get uncomfortablehttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/10/7/stand-up-and-get-uncomfortable.htmlSam Davidson2009-10-07T15:00:44Z2009-10-07T15:00:44Z

I did it again this morning.

Around 8 AM, I stood up in front of a group of people and spoke. I talked about how social media is redefining the words "friends" and "community" for Generation Y. I made my points, clicked through my slide deck, made people listen and laugh, and then I sat down.

From the looks of it, I'll be doing this several more times this year and next.

For some, this idea makes them want to vomit. Jerry Seinfeld summed it up best when he said:

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

But, public speaking - the act of standing up in front of strangers - is also the way you develop authority, expertise, and possibly, a career. Therefore, if you're looking to become a leader in the nonprofit sector, it's something you need to get comfortable with.

All this month, Tera Wozniak Qualls and I will be blogging about four ways to become a better leader. These four ways are all things that might make you uncomfortable, but that's ultimately how you develop proven leadership skills.

Tera's already written about her experience with public speaking and has a very personal (and amusing) story about arugula. And she also shares how she got better at it.

I had my first public speaking experience in high school. Much like Beyonce learned to sing in the church, it's also where I learned to speak. And the first time I did it, I wasn't so hot.

I spoke to roughly 750 teenagers (I was one myself) about evangelism. I read from the book of Acts. And I talked about a time when I tried to live out the story I found in the Bible.

During the run-through the day before, I had friends listen to me. Their main suggestion was to not say "you know" so much. I took their advice and practiced my talk several times that night and the next day.

Then, during my fifteen minutes, I never said the phrase "you know." But I did say the word "indeed" 11 times.

I have a tape of this. I will never forget that word. Now, when I speak, I don't say "indeed" 11 times, if I say it at all. (Give it a try. See how many times you use the word today. Heck - try to force it into conversation and you'll see just how out of place it is.)

What I take from my story (and Tera's) is that the more you do something, the better you get. So, if you want to be a better public speaker, do it. Just go do it. You don't need to wait for invitations (those come slowly at first anyway). Treat staff meetings like a speech. Don't be long-winded or erudite. Just work on what you'd like to say and try saying it to anyone without fumbling. You'll be surprised at how much confidence you gain.

Then, seek out opportunities to speak. What groups are you a part of? A church or synagogue? Local associations? Whether you introduce a guest or speak for five minutes about your work, every time you stand up in front of strangers, you'll get better. The discomfort won't disappear overnight - but you will becomes used to it more so you know what it feels like and how to handle it.

Barack Obama didn't become a great speaker when he decided to run for president. He honed his craft in countless community meetings that had less than 20 people in attendance.

I don't really give speaking advice, even though I speak more frequently now than ever. So, this will be it from me when it comes to talking in front of groups. I've been doing it for almost half my life.

In other words, trust me: It gets easier and you get better.

On Monday, I'll be discussing the uncomfortableness that comes from proposing an idea that might fail. Click here to see what else Tera and I will be chatting about this month.

In the meantime, let us know how you’ve built your leadership skills through uncomfortable situations. Use the #devleadership on Twitter and Facebook or comment on this blog to let us know your story.

Photo by hiddedevries

]]>Social Media Can Be Like Peeing in Publichttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/9/29/social-media-can-be-like-peeing-in-public.htmlSam Davidson2009-09-29T11:00:20Z2009-09-29T11:00:20ZYesterday, I led a workshop for local nonprofits about why developing a social media strategy is the best first step when it comes to doing anything social media related. As I was putting the finishing touches on the talk, and simultaneously preparing for a similar talk in Chattanooga on Friday, I realized something:

If you are a nonprofit and decide to use social media only because it's free and everyone else is doing it, then it's not a good idea. After all, those same two qualities are true for port-o-johns as well.

In fact, I couldn't think of any two worse reasons to set up profiles if you're a nonprofit. You want to reach a new audience? Better communicate with an existing one? Streamline your communications? Fine. Go for it. Social media can help.

You want to spin your wheels? Try something without knowing why you're doing it? Leap on a bandwagon with no clear direction? Good luck.

I eagerly await your email for help in six months.

If you'd like a free copy of my latest book, that discusses what a social media strategy is and why you need one - as well as how to develop one - then click here.

Photo by Ack Ook

]]>Facebook Ruined My High School Reunionhttp://samdavidson.net/blog/2009/9/28/facebook-ruined-my-high-school-reunion.htmlSam Davidson2009-09-28T11:00:41Z2009-09-28T11:00:41Z 

My 10th high school reunion happened this past Saturday. I was at home folding clothes. This was after going to dinner and Target with my wife.

Why didn't I attend my reunion? It wasn't because dinner, Target, or laundry was more appealing. It's just that they were more necessary.

When I graduated in 1999, there may have been a moment when I wondered how fun it would be to see everyone again in a decade. We'd all meet up in Nashville and impress each other with tales of business or spiritual opportunity, introducing each other to our wives and husbands that we'd met at college or at work.

Then, about five years after that, Facebook was invented. And no one ever needed to go to a high school reunion again.

Since high school, moving back to my hometown and the magic of the Internet have allowed me to keep up with everyone I'd like to. Through circumstance and email, I've even reconnected with my four best friends from ten years ago (all of us lived somewhere else after college and returned to Nashville around the same time as one another - and none of us knew it at the time). That's who I was hanging out with on Friday instead of meeting up with the other reunion attendees at Dave and Buster's.

Through social media, I can see pictures of former classmates, see where everyone works, and even start conversations with people I haven't spoken to since the 90's.

And that's really the clincher - it's not that Facebook prevents me from going to the reunion. It's that the tools of communication have been so democratized and mainstreamed that if you and I need to connect, we can. It's easy and even effortless. I don't need to pay $100 to go to a party to hear you tell me what I already know. Don't believe me? Shoot me an email and we can grab coffee.

See how easily we can connect and catch up?

The organizers decided that the best way for everyone to reconnect was to shell out $100 - because that's what a dinner and dance in a hotel ballroom costs. I can't imagine what that request would feel like to someone who doesn't live in Nashville and would need to include travel costs.

Will my daughter go to her high school reunion? Probably not. She won't have the chance to. In 28 years (or so), there will be tools and media that no one can imagine now. Remember - Facebook has only been open to everyone for just three years.

So, if you're thinking of planning a high school reunion, be sure to account for all of the social media out there. In fact, it's not necessarily that Facebook detracts from a reunion. If nothing else, such a tool could enhance it.

Above all, I think all of these toys and tools need to be making us better people and forming better community. But that doesn't mean the choices need to be between seeing what I want on Facebook and coughing up $100 for a party. With a little creativity, a happy medium could be struck where what we think a reunion has to be can be modified to improve the community that was formed in high school hallways last decade.

I'm sure a lot of people had a blast and loved the reunion. I'm sure it was a well planned event. Judging from the pictures I saw (on Facebook), a lot of people are glad they went and paid their money.

But remember - this was an all or nothing event. A dinner and dance scheduled on one evening at one place allows for very little flexibility. Either people are available and they see the value or they don't. They same goes for weddings, showers, graduations, homecomings, and birthday parties. Pick a place, a time, a cost, and a theme and see who can make it. Cross your fingers. See what happens.

The rampant growth and adoption of social media may mean that we have to throw away our preconceived notion of how things are done. And in the end, we may find that we can do them all better if we have a clean slate and a heck of a piece of chalk. Thinking outside of the box is no longer enough. We need to question the need for the box in the first place.

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