Short version (76 words)

I read Trust Agents over the course of a Saturday in preparation to deliver a talk to a sales group about using social media. Thankfully, Trust Agents is more about how to interact with people online than how to start tweeting. The book is clear and details how you can succeed with online tools, so as long as you have goals in mind, the time to pull it off, and the attitude that trust is everything.

Long version (369 words)

I plan on giving this book away tomorrow. I'm passing it on to people at work as I think it has a direct benefit to what they do every day. I pass along books from time to time, but so few have such a direct application to someone's line of work so quickly. Of course, by giving it away, I'm conceding that I won't need to read it again, and I'm fairly certain I won't, thanks to Chris Brogan's blog.

But the book is more than Brogan's and Julien Smith's online thoughts. Thankfully, there is very little tech talk throughout the 260 pages. If you want to learn the basics of Facebook, you'll need to go buy another book. Or you could just – as Brogan and Smith suggest – set up an account and start learning things for yourself.

The book makes no bold promises that upon its completion you'll be making millions (friends or dollars). It does break down and completely define the concept of online trust, which is slightly different than offline trust. The authors are clear to draw a clear line between each, however, showing how being an agent of trust on the Web can build your brand everywhere.

The book's thesis is hidden on page 176:

We didn't really intend to discuss specific tools in this book. One reason is that these tools will change on a regular basis. The other reason is that we're saying that the human stuff is far more important than the software.... Use the tools that work to reach the people you need. Use them well, but know that they're just tools.

Trust Agents is a great resource for anyone starting a role where they are required to build trust. With my nonprofit hat on, I'd say its as integral to nonprofit marketers as Kivi Leroux Miller's "The First 100 Days" guide is. And for those outside of the 501(c)3 world – like those I'll be speaking to soon – you'll find benefit as it comes to attracting and retaining customers.

Even I – who have been using social media for a while for both personal and professional reasons – learned quite a few things I can immediately do in order to continue building trust online.

Photo by divemasterking2000

In my mind, there are only two reasons to quit your day job:

1. You have something viable to go to, like another gig with guaranteed income, a new project that pays, or a lotto ticket that it's time to cash in.
2. You're about to literally blow your brains out.

I worked at a hotel for two long years. I drove to work and back home most days thinking I'd rather do anything else. But I knew I couldn't do nothing. So I stayed until I finally was hired in the nonprofit world.

There's a lot of social media experts (nearly 16,000 of whom are on Twitter, according to this Mashable report), but very few get paid. Of those that do, very few make enough to live on. I made just a hair over $10,000 last year speaking and consulting about it. I could have pushed it hard and maybe doubled that total, signing up more corporate and nonprofit clients. But, to do that, I would have spent a lot of time selling myself and less time doing actual consulting work.

This year, I'll consult less, taking gigs that pay more. So, I'll work less and get paid more (or the same probably), only because I've developed enough of a reputation in certain circles. But it took me nearly three years to develop that reputation. It's not something I left any job to build. It's happened over the course of hours and days and years.

Remember: jumping off of a 200-foot cliff is a lot of fun for 199 feet. That final 12 inches is a bitch.

But, there's hope.

If you have a 40-hour-a-week job that you hate, the upside is this: you have 109 days off this year. Add up your weekends and major holidays and you'll find that these are days you have entirely to yourself. That's over three months that you have to do what you want.

Most of the world will spend it watching TV or mindlessly surfing the Internet. Noble and relaxing pursuits, but they don't help you build a reputation that you can cash in on in three years. So, let's do some math:

• 109 days off this year
• 8 hours a day spent perfecting a hobby, talent, or skill
• 872 hours total to get good at something

Add in paid time off and other vacation days (I didn't count days like Columbus Day or the day after Thanksgiving) and up your output to 10 hours a day and you'll have 1,300 hours of available time.

Wake up an hour or two earlier on the days you head into the office and you can easily find yourself with close to 2,000 hours to spend doing what you think you have to quit your job to do. Do that for two years and you can build a network of true fans and paying customers.

In 2,000 hours, I could write a book (I could probably write several), start a few web ventures, and maybe even become a good photographer. The time is mine to do with as I please, all the while being able to pay my mortgage, save money, and get ready to take a leap (with a parachute).

Skipping the trip to Destin, a few football games, trivia nights, and entire seasons of TV shows could pay off a lot quicker than leaving a job you hate for no good reason.

What will you do with your 2,000 extra hours this year?

That's true. Let someone into your world and you'll risk them knowing you more deeply. Build walls and keep people out and you won't have to worry about anyone seeing all of your shortcomings.

But, intimacy and community are never created at an arm's length.

It's really your call then - if you want to be intimately known, you'll have to pay for it. It's not free. The price for being fully known in a deep and intimate way is reckless abandon. You've got to throw caution to the wind, become vulnerable, and give up any notion you have of being guarded or protected.

I've lived with my wife for nearly six years now. She's seen me at my most desperate and at my happiest. I've seen her at hers. If I'm lucky, she'll see me at even weaker moments one day. She'll see me be a bad parent, a forgetful husband, and maybe even a total jackass.

But, that's a price I'll pay in order to be fully loved and fully known by someone.

All of us want intimacy. But, we've been burned before. One time, we trusted too easily, so this time, we're not heading down that road just yet. So, we trade sex for love. We substitute scads of digital connections for a handful of personal relationships. We work on our personal brand and network instead of our group of five people we can call on (and who can call on us).

In a few months, I'll hold my daughter for the first time. I will say goodbye to any pretense I have of being my daughter's hero because I'll be perfect or ideal. Instead, I will hope to simply be her dad by being recklessly abandoned to that very idea - that by being completely me, she'll love me in a way that a daughter loves her father and as a result we'll have a close bond that I'll treasure forever.

And one day, I hope she'll ask me about love. I hope that I can tell her that at times, it will be terrible. She will get her heart broken and she, I, her mother, and those who love her will grieve with her. But, one day, she will love someone and he or she will love her back and the two of them will be totally and recklessly abandoned to one another.

In other words, I'll tell her that loving people is totally worth it.

Our hearts may break, but they cannot be destroyed. Go - love and live with reckless abandon. You won't believe how awesome intimacy is.

• On Monday, I suggested that everyone is always available - if the right opportunity comes along.
• On Tuesday, I waxed poetic a bit about my impending fatherhood.
• On Wednesday, I wrote my first post for the nonprofit career series I'm doing this month.

From the Web

• This post is Tim Ferris at his best. It's a great question: if you said "no" to more stuff, what would you be free to say "yes" to? This is something I always need to work on.
• If you're not already, it's time for you to read and subscribe to Elisa Doucette's blog, Ophelia's Webb. I was late to the game, but when she writes stuff like this, you'll be better for reading it.
• I'm not quite sure how he does it, but Thomas Friedman keeps opening our eyes to the bigger picture. This is a must read about the major crises facing all of us.
• Nicole Antoinette has a very poignant post about the moments in all of our lives, and how they define us.
• Carlos Miceli breaks up with Seth Godin. I applaud him for it.

Personal Stuff

• In you're in Nashville on October 22nd, I'll be leading a small group discussion at a young nonprofit professional's event. My topic? Career change and how to adapt and adjust. This is apropos because:
• I have a new job. Like, a new full-time job. More about that next week.